Rule #1
Never trust a button that says Download Now.
The rules
The rules of the internet
Nobody agreed to them. Everyone follows them.
Rule #2
Every argument eventually ends with someone checking Wikipedia.
Rule #3
Never read the comments unless you are emotionally prepared.
Rule #4
If the CAPTCHA asks twice, it already thinks you are a robot.
Rule #5
Nobody has read the Terms and Conditions. Not even the lawyer.
Rule #6
The internet remembers everything except where you saved that file.
Rule #7
Every developer has fixed something by turning it off and on again.
Rule #8
The cloud is just someone else's computer with better marketing.
Rule #9
Going viral is a marketing strategy only after it happens.
Rule #10
Every productivity app eventually becomes another app you forget to check.
Rule #11
Never automate something that takes less time than explaining the automation.
Rule #12
Every domain you want is already owned by someone doing absolutely nothing with it.
Rule #13
The free plan ends exactly where the feature you needed begins.
Rule #14
A loading spinner is just a website asking for patience it has not earned.
Rule #15
If the logo is a gradient blob, the product is still deciding what it is.
Rule #16
Screenshots in a launch tweet are legally required to include at least one fake chart.
Rule #17
If everyone is talking about it, you are already late.
Rule #18
The algorithm did not shadowban you. Your post was simply uninteresting.
Rule #19
There is always a guy in the comments who used the tool in 2009 and wants you to know.
Rule #20
Bookmarking something is not the same as reading it. You knew that.
Rule #21
Every group chat has one person who replies only with a screenshot.
Rule #22
The website works on your machine, which is why the bug report was closed.
Rule #23
A dark pattern is just a button that went to business school.
Rule #24
Nobody's startup is in stealth. They posted the logo on day two.
Rule #25
The internet is public until the thing you wanted to be public.
Rule #26
Going viral and having a business are unfortunately two different things.
Rule #27
If a tool promises to replace your job, it will first replace your evening.
Rule #28
The most honest status page is the one that is also down.
Rule #29
You do not have too many tabs. You have a belief system.
Rule #30
Every AI demo is filmed before the first hallucination.
Rule #31
The reply guy is a public service and a medical condition.
Rule #32
A newsletter called The Something is already taken. So is the something.com.
Rule #33
Incognito mode hides the history from you, not from the website.
Rule #34
The best feature of any app is the export button you cannot find.
Rule #35
If the onboarding has eight steps, the product is afraid of you.
Rule #36
Someone will turn your joke into a startup. They will raise money.
Rule #37
The internet's memory is perfect and its search is personal.
Rule #38
The algorithm does not hate you. It does not know you exist.
Rule #39
A waitlist is a landing page that got stage fright.
Rule #40
There can only be one ruler today. Tomorrow is a different argument.